Ciao! Nice to see you guys here!
My name is Shuhei IKEDA from Japan. I currently study agriculture in Italy as a Double Degree student: a similar program with Erasmus+. Sometimes I ask myself “Why I did not choose stutter/stammer as my research topic to deal with my crucial problem?”, but…let it go. ahaha
I was not able to say that my stutter was a personality of mine. It had been suffering me every single day since my childhood. People think that stutter is only a speech impediment, but it is not true. This steals a lot of opportunities and motivations to challenge. When friends of mine enjoyed chatting, I kept a distance because I wouldn’t like to let them know my stutter. Even if I had a great idea to proceed a project, I did not tell them it because I wouldn’t like to let them know my stutter.
What does it cause to me then? – I lost confidence.
I’d believed I was useless, defective and nobody listens to me. Stutter is not only speaking problem, also undermining our sense of self-worth. I continued to have minimum communications with others, but always put myself in comfort zone.
I got a chance to change myself three years ago. My parents sent me to Australia to try let me study English and obtain new perceptions in order to make my life better. I guessed they wanted me to touch different environments and know human diversities, uniqueness. But it was not something so simple for me.
In the school there, who does not speak own ideas/opinions up are regarded as incompetence. As same as no-existence. I had to get out of my comfort zone immediately then if I wouldn’t have liked to waste of time and expense. So that I struggled every day.
・Speak something ・Someone listens to me
These two aspects are nothing special, but worked a lot to improving my English, making friends, getting into the habit of speaking. They led me not to be afraid speaking anymore. Actually, I still have a stutter, but gradually feeling much less pressure and nervousness when talking to someone. Then I realized the person who made me miserable was myself.
Since that, I decided not to escape what I want to do. Studying in Italy is one of them. Nothing can close up our possibilities and future, even stutter. It only comes when we give up.
January 2019, I opened my YouTube channel for vlogging, which is about my stutter and my experiences through it and so on. We might be unlucky with stutter, but not that’s all. I would like to share my ideas and happiness through vlogging, to motivate my viewers.