In a World Where Everyone Stutters

It was my first time participating in a Youth Exchange, and honestly, I had no slightest idea what to expect. I came as a volunteer, and I was nervous about whether I would keep up with the new tasks in a completely different environment among people I had just met.

My stuttering has been silencing me for years. I thought I should be as invisible as possible so that nobody would have to listen to my imperfect voice. Stuttering became the only thing most people knew about me. Honestly, sometimes I even felt like it was the only thing that was left of me. It was a cage where I deliberately put myself in because I was ashamed.

Here at the Youth Exchange, as a timekeeper, my responsibilities were to ring the bell, make announcements, tell people where to go and what to do — things that are probably the most difficult for someone who had wanted to be as unnoticed as possible for their entire life. And yet, I accepted the challenge because I do not want to be in that cage anymore.

When I was 28, I had my first proper conversation with another person who stutters. Until then, I had never met anyone who stuttered, or I had avoided them whenever possible, because listening to their stutter would have meant listening to myself as well, and I was so ashamed. But when I allowed myself to get to know other people who stutter, I understood that we are not our stutter. Yes, we share it, but we are so much more than that.

For me, participating in the Youth Exchange has become a once-in-a-lifetime experience. It turned my world upside down, and it will never be the same again — I am sure of that. From a world where fluent speech is the norm, I suddenly found myself in an environment where everybody stutters — from your roommate to the kitchen staff.

As I was leaving the place, I kept thinking, “How am I supposed to continue living in this fluently speaking world where almost no one even knows how to stutter?” It has become just another way of speaking — nothing more.

And the people I met at the Youth Exchange… well… they are incredible, to say the least — brave, smart, funny, adventurous, and so much more!

I see now that stuttering will always be a part of me, but it is not me. It is simply the way I speak. My superpower.